English the American Way: A Fun ESL Guide to Language and Culture in the U.S. » Unit 1: New Friends
Making new friends is an exciting part of moving to a new place, but sometimes it’s hard to know just how formal to be with new people. Americans are usually very casual. They’re also very friendly. This is a good thing, but it can be tricky. Everyone knows that good old basic English phrase, “Hello. It’s nice to meet you.” Oh, yeah, we bet you were ready for that. Well, you may be ready, but then you may be surprised to learn that you won’t hear that phrase very often. “Hello. It’s nice to meet you” is okay for first-time introductions, but when friends meet socially, the conversation will probably sound more like this:
Alan: Hey, Lia! It’s good to see you.
Lia: You, too. I haven’t seen you in a few days. How are you? How’s it going?
Alan: Not bad. I’m so busy with the classes I’m taking. How about you?
Lia: I’m okay. I know you’re busy with classes. My job’s really hectic this time of year, too. What’s new with you?
Alan: Nothing much. I’m on my way to the mall. I need some time off! Do you remember Lana? She’s there. Ha! She’s always at the mall! I think a lot of our friends plan to just hang out at the mall tonight.
Lia: Who? Oh yeah. I remember Lana. She’s the one with the scary-looking dog. I don’t want to hang out with that dog!
Alan: Ha! You aren’t afraid of that little tiny dog, are you? Well, I’m sure Rover isn’t at the mall.
Lia: Actually, I’m headed to the mall later, anyway. There’s a huge sale going on. I think they’re open extra late.
Alan: Great! Maybe I’ll see you there.
Lia: Sounds good. We’re both good shoppers! If I get there before you leave, maybe I’ll see you. After all, we aren’t leaving until we see all the sales. And I’m not leaving until I have some cute new shoes!
| Tip 1 | When people ask, “How are you?” they are really just saying, “Hi.” This is not a good time to talk about your health! |
| Tip 2 | The mall isn’t just for shopping. Many young people go to the mall to hang around with friends. In a city, however, the place to be might be downtown. |
Of course, our first grammar reminder just has to be about the verb to be. It may be a little tricky, but it also may be the most important verb in English.
Most speakers use contractions (the short forms) rather than full forms of the verb in affirmative statements. To really sound like a native speaker, practice, practice, practice using contractions! Notice the contractions of the verb to be in the dialogue:
For questions using the verb to be, put the question word first, then the verb to be in its correct form, and then the subject.
| Correct Examples: | Not: |
| How are you? | How you are? |
| What’s new with you? | What with you is new? |
Although Americans are very friendly, they are also rather private. You may be surprised to know that very often people don’t even know their neighbors. In a big city, it’s very possible that people living in the same apartment building won’t know the people next door. In the suburbs, it’s not unusual for neighbors to wave from their cars or to say “Hi” across their yards, but not to know their neighbors’ names. Have you noticed how many houses have fences around them? It may seem strange, but it’s really just an example of how much Americans value a sense of privacy, especially at home. Friendly, but private—now that’s tricky! Of course, some neighbors just like to party all the time. Hoo, boy! That can be a problem.
Lia: Hi. I’m Lia Chen, your neighbor from around the block. We’re having a barbecue Saturday, and we thought you might like to come. Lots of the neighbors will be there. Jae and Ramon are coming, too. They’re your neighbors across the street.
Alan: It’s nice to meet you, Lia. I’d like to come, but I’ll be working all weekend on a big project for my job.
Lia: Well, if you change your mind, come on over. You’re welcome to come, and I think it will be fun for you to meet all the neighbors.
Alan: Thanks. By the way, I’ve been meaning to talk to you. I hope my dog’s barking doesn’t bother you.
Lia: Actually, I wanted to talk to you about that. When you’re gone during the day, the dog barks all the time. It’s driving me nuts.
Alan: I’m really sorry! I’ll keep the dog in the house when I’m gone.
Lia: Thanks so much. I hope you’ll come over for some burgers and dogs on Saturday. And drop by our house to visit anytime!
| Tip 3 | When people are trying to be friendly, they may ask you to “drop by anytime.” Don’t believe it! This is a way of being friendly, but most people don’t like unexpected visitors to drop by. It’s always a good idea to call first and ask if the person is busy. |
| Tip 4 | If you are invited to a party or barbecue, it’s polite to bring something. Before you go you can ask, “What can I bring?” Even if the host says, “Nothing,” you should bring something. It can be a special food treat from your culture or some flowers. Other kinds of gifts are not usually given. |
It’s probably the same in the country you come from, but teenagers here sometimes sound like they speak a different language. Everyone uses some slang, sometimes, but it seems that teenagers use their own slang *all* the time! You may not expect to have a conversation like the next one, but you’ll probably hear one, and it’s fun to know what these crazy kids are talking about.
Lia: Say! Wassup?
Jae: Nothing much. What are you up to?
Lia: Nothing really. We’re just chillin’.
Jae: Hey, you’re really rocking those cool jeans! You’re really stylin’.
Lia: Thanks a bunch. They’re from the mall. There’s a huge sale at that cool store we really like. But, hey, I can’t talk now. I gotta run.
Lia: Catch you later.
Jae: Later, dude.
| Tip 5 | It’s fun to know what kids are talking about, but people who aren’t teenagers sound funny using this slang. No kidding, dude. |
| Tip 6 | Exclamations are fun! They don’t really have a special meaning, but they add excitement to what you’re saying. Here are some examples of common American exclamations: Hey! Wow! Yikes! Hoo, boy! Man! Oh, brother! Oh, boy! |
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